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In the spirit ofFestivus, I am airing my grievances for the smartphone world.

Gather round the Festivus pole!

AI generated image from prompt: "A photorealistic image of a very large family angry mad bitter fighting at a nondescript family dinner. We are looking at the angry family everybody is angry over the shoulder of an angry young child who is pointing at the rest of the family, accusing them of disappointing him. The rest of the family is in denial or looks ashamed. We are looking over a family feast. Everybody is holding a smartphone and there are smartphones everywhere on plates and even the main course might be a gigantic roasted smartphone. The image is a bit surreal. There are at least a dozen people at the table and everybody is very angry and shouting and yelling and pointing at each other or trying to hide from the anger. It is like a scene from the show Seinfeld during a Festivus episode"

Apple Vision Pro at launch

You think Im going to drone on and on about AI?

Dont worry, Ill get to it.

It will be a Festivus miracle when I finally see AI features that make a smartphone worth buying.

Samsung Galaxy Z Fold 6 in Paris in front of the Louvre pyramid

Apple Vision Pro at launch

The Samsung Galaxy Z Fold I really want… in Korea and China only?!

SamsungsGalaxy Z Fold 6has a flaw: Z Fold phones are simply too narrow when closed.

The front screen looks awkward and some apps dont fit right.

iPhone 16 Camera Control

The problem persisted, while theOnePlus OpenandGoogle Pixel 9 Pro Foldshowed how a foldable tablet is supposed to look.

Then Samsung fixed the problem!

It launched aGalaxy Z Fold Special Editionwith a bigger display up front and a proper aspect ratio.

Xiaomi 14 Ultra

Okay, so those countries actually spend money on foldable phones.

I hope theGalaxy Z Fold 7doesnt disappoint.

Ive been hoping two-stage shutter buttons would make a comeback (everyWindows Phonehad one!

Motorola Razr Plus 2024 in green

), because it makes shooting much easier when you want a steady focus and a sharper shot.

Then the Camera Control showed up and it was nothing like what wed seen before.

It was so much more than just a shutter button with focus lock.

I really like the Control!

And I love that every iPhone 16 model gets a Camera Control.

I think theres a lot of potential.

I just have one big problem: it doesnt do the thing I wanted.

Im not very good at stopping my finger at precisely the right point without some physical resistance.

Maybe that was the point all along?

Hopefully when Samsung inevitably copies this button, it will offer a proper two-stage shutter button like I wanted.

I cant buy a Xiaomi 14 Ultra.

Theres a camera phone that haunts my dreams: theXiaomi 14 Ultra.

It might be thebest camera phoneon the market right now, but not my market.

it’s possible for you to get a Xiaomi phone in plenty of other English-speaking countries.

So, I borrowed a Xiaomi 14 Ultra from our UK team, and its cameras are jaw-dropping.

The level of control is amazing, with the best aperture control Ive seen on a smartphone.

Ive never gotten a satisfying answer explaining why I cant buy Xiaomi phones.

For that matter, why cant I buy any cool Huawei phones, like theHuawei Mate XT?!

I have heard from industry analysts that there is a political reason more than a technological impediment.

In any case, its dump the US market is missing out on something good.

Is it rampant and blatant copyright infringement?

Supervillainous levels of energy consumption?

This is not acceptable.

These AI image generators are not useful enough to justify the danger.

Why do I need a problematic wallpaper app on my phone?

When did it become acceptable for electronics companies to foist offensive features on users?

Im guessing its when we decided we werent going to buy those foldable phones.

When AI works properly, Ill be excited to use it.

AI features dont work, and that is the end of that.

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